Celebration

From my last post I sounded so despondent and lonely but its quite contrary to what I'm feeling right now. I am resolved to filling my life with good things like love, music, stories, good people, good relationships, friends, God's love and blessings. And after making that resolution I can't help but smile and feel light. I pray and talk to God a lot about my plans, I'm really happy for the presence of the people around me, they make my life richer. I miss my friends but some of them I see a lot and I'm happy that we have a kind of bond that goes beyond proximity. I don't live a perfect life, I'm having problems making wise decisions when it comes to spending money but I'm learning from it. I figure everyone whose handling their own money for the first time do have that problem. The challenge would be learning from those mistakes. I enjoy learning from them. I'm also having problems with my health, I didn't report to work for two days but I'm fine with it because its a reminder that my body can only take so much and at one point, because of my unconventional lifestyle, it will conk out on me.

About my previous post, I figured that for the entire time I was President I didn't celebrate. There was no point that I celebrated a success that we have rightfully owned. I never celebrated the things that we have accomplished, everything was a sigh of relief for having finish it, no sense of accomplishment or success. I never felt elated that I graduated Cum Laude, it came as no surprise already. Instead of celebrating it I was disappointed because I felt I could have done better and all I did was blame my position for not reaching Magna Cum Laude which in my mind I could have done easily have I not been President. All of my success came as a disappointment because to my mind I can still do better. I was always expecting so much more from myself, that's why I was never contented. There's nothing wrong with wanting the best but sometimes we are caught in all of it that we fail to recongnize the beauty of everything surrounding us. The people, the moments, the simple joys and the everyday success. Maybe that's where the rage came from, from all those things wanting to be recognized and appreciated. The rage could also come from the disappointments that I should have let go along time ago.

I'm learning from it all, I'm contented that I have a work and its making me experience ordinary life, a life wherein I meet everyday people with stories of survival, distress and simple joys. I'm happy that I can express my emotional side and I'm not ashamed to express my concern and care for other people. I'm happy that every Sunday I sing for the Lord and that I surround myself with the innocence of the youth. I'm happy that I'm not rushing to fulfill my dreams, I'm happy with the journey that I'm taking. I'm happy that in the horizon I can still see my dreams and the things that I set out to do. I'm happy that I'm taking time, resting and enjoying everything around me.

This is my celebration!

Dear Lord, Fill my soul with Your eternal love, fill my heart with contentment, and let my love and concern fill other people's lives. Take care of the people I love and please take care of my beloved country. Amen.

Maria Francia Posted At 12:53:00 PM

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