Growing Pains

I love watching movies from Disney Channel because of the good values it teaches and how it ends up, always, on a good note. It shows a teenager in dilemma and that same person would find his way to righteousness with the help of his parents and friends. Somehow in these movies life is perfect and things would be okay and dandy. i hope everything is like that in real life. i like seeing the pains of growing up, the confusion growing up brings to people. i guess because I'm in that phase of my life that I need to grow up and be mature because everyday you are presented with responsibilities you need to take on. and somehow the movies gives me relief that I'm not the only one experiencing these growing pains. of course their dilemmas are apt for say eleven year olds but then again, i just need some relief.

my favorite book or story of all time is Anne of Green Gables because its all about growing up. its about a girl who seemed innocent and clumsy, at most, but eventually as the story progressed she became one elegant and mature woman, of course not without troubles. the experiences and events shaped her to be as such and also she's conscientious that's why growing up and being mature came eventually for her. it is in a way an inspiration because although everybody predicted that she will be troublesome, which she was, she overcame that and proved that there are many aspects to growing up and becoming the best person you can be despite circumstances and environment that you're in. She's one BIG heart and I honestly want to be like her, someone who'll emerge graceful despite going through all the heartache and pain. i want to have a big heart like her, a heart which can accommodate all the people that needs a home to rest. i want people to feel how much God loves them maybe through me. I want to be HIS instrument the way He made Anne His instrument for me to imitate.

i miss the feeling of going round and round and round and just allowing yourself to fall and lie on you back and just look at the sky. I don't think I can do that anymore since I'm already "old".

so what's this talk about children and growing up? well it's just that I'm feeling the pressure of growing up and being mature. i feel so childish at times. my mind is filled with things that a grown person shouldn't be thinking about like love and all the transient ideas. i feel so inferior to people wiser than me and those who act so maturely, so sure of themselves. I look up to these people who brings about change and can carry themselves well. i guess that's where all the sadness comes from. The pressures of growing up is getting to me and it's quite a difficult and heavy burden.

on a completely different note.

i just realized that even though you're old or wise it doesn't exempt you from feeling sad or lonely. you may have all the riches and accolades in the world but when left alone, like everyone else in this planet, you'll start to look for that piece of your heart left with someone else, destined to complete you.

wow, it took me 21 years to figure that out! whew.

Maria Francia Posted At 10:09:00 AM

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