holidays update

so what have you been up to? where have you been for the past couple of weeks?

i haven't been updating for a while because we have no internet connection. our telephone lines was cut off because of unpaid bills, don't worry it has been taken cared of that's why i can use the internet now. the surge of the bills was partly my fault because of the incessant use of the PLDT Internet service. so part of my new ways for the 2005 is to buy my own inernet card so as not to burden my mom with my addiction with the internet. such desperate measures.

what happened to your sensitivity training?

it was okay, i guess for me that is. it was fun while it lasted. it was also sort of a beginning for me, the healing or the process didn't end when we left Bataan, it was a start of something rather that the end. it had me thinking for quite a while because of the events that transpired. if there is something that i learned from the activity is that its okay to acknowledge certain feelings and emotions. one by one we bared our souls, our fears, inhibitions, talents and through the nakedness we discovered ourselves, our true selves, which might be problematic for some because we cannot reconcile with our true selves which is sad.

so how was it for you? what was your discoveries?

the images was so piognant that it didn't leave me for days. the trees, the mountains, the darkness, the stars were amazing that within the embrace of nature i found myself and my future which seem so clear. within nature's gift i realized that its okay to feel embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed (once in a while), or whatever feelings you have because it enhances your being human. the acknowledgement that certain feelings do exists and one cannot shun them out completeley enriches human existence. through these feelings we are able to find the deeper meaning of life, through these feelings we are able to relate better with ourselves and commune better with our souls...

i am a control freak. everyone who knows me knows that. i relish the respect that i command. i am strong on the outside, i am sturdy and i don't like to be laugh at or be in a middle of an imbroglio but through the sensitivity training i learned to let go of my front and deal with emotions as they come and perceive it as normal as the air and as mystifying also like the air. i fell down, i felt embarrassed, i felt conscious but that's okay because its part of me.
i learned to be thankful, for everything i have and don't have because for everything that i don't have, my haves make up for it, tripled.
that i certianly love nature, and love GOD, who's the beginning and everything of it.

what did you do on christmas?

I FELL IN LOVE. the next thing i love most besides reading is watching t.v. or movies. although i see them late or delayed, i enjoy watching them, especially those movies/shows that has high regards for its audience intelligence and sensibility. throughout the holidays i caught up with movies and t.v. shows that i haven't seen. i saw matrix reloaded. i was weepy with sex and the city the farewell and i saw chicago. let me tell you, the dancing was amazing. i fell in love with musicals, again. catherine zeta-jones and my fave renee zellwegger was astounding. and i saw finding nemo, which was adventurously amazing and its graphics are great (note to myself: must be a movie or tv show critique.<--- this would be my dream job but not my regular job, of course next to being a fire fighter)

we weren't able to do what was planned on christmas day because of different factors... too bad.

are you looking forward to 2005.

honestly? no, i dread going back to school because of the amount of work that needs to be taken cared of. just thinking about them makes me tired that i end up not touching any of it. i just sit there stare at the books that needs to be opened and i dared not to open the PC because the responsibilities would mentally line itself up bugging me relentlessly. you should have seen the conflict when i decided to write my entry for this blog. but what can i do, i need to face it.

what's your new year's wish?

1. world peace? (what a cliche!)
2. just enough strength and patience to deal with it all. (it, meaning?...)
3. better me. (i'm working on that!)

happy new year everyone!

pictures from bataan, soon! (c/o june ador)

Maria Francia Posted At 4:56:00 PM

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mental notes

i've decide to put off my livejournal account because i don't think i can handle two web logs. i'm just starting to get the hang of blogspot and i want to maximize everything before starting a new one.

i made a list of the movies i would really love to see either on the big screen or on tv.

1. Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason
2. Cold Mountain
3. Love Actually
4. Ray
5. The Godfather Series
6. Casablanca
7. Chicago
8. Phantom of the Opera
9. Sound of Music (Again)
10. Bridges of Madison County

well, because i have been hearing a lot of good things about this films and i want to see it myself. this is just a few of the movies i wanted to see. there are also filipino films i wanted to see specially those by lino brocka and the one where nora aunor said the lines "my brother is not a pig" it has earned such a reputation it would be a sin not to see it.

i also wanted to have the songs of levi celerio in a cd. i wonder where i could fine such.

also, just today when i was lazily lounging and listening to the radio. a thought popped up my mind, i wanted to write but then again when i happen to find a few words i would suddenly feel awkward about it as if i'm doing something that's useless or unconventional of me. i have lots of ideas that i really wanted to say/write but i don't think i have the acendancy to do that. i feel that my English both written and spoken needs a lot of polishing around the edges that's why i have been yearning for a good English teacher but since i've left high school, i haven't met someone who has the patience to teach the language in a different level.

so i made the mental note, to brush up on my grammar lesson, so i wouldn't feel awkward using the language.

another mental note: i must prepare for a test later today and i must stop using the internet at 2:00 am.

last song: I Wanna Be With You (really i do...)

...oh such useless ramblings...

Maria Francia Posted At 1:13:00 AM

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update

i'm putting up a livejournal account. so do stand by my latest discovery on internet tools. check that out once it comes out.

must prepare for a quiz in spanish. (don't start on me about this one!!!)

Maria Francia Posted At 1:36:00 AM

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twilight zone, sensitivity training and christmas....

so this is how it feels like to be in a twilight zone. last monday i forgot i have a class at 1. i actually thought class was supposed to be at 3:00 but surprise surprise. the funny thing though is that i was at school but i thought i was early so i spent an hour or so at the library and at 2:30 thinking that i was still early for class, i walked ever so slowly to our classroom. and boy was i surprised when i found out that i was already late for an hour and 30 minutes. i didn't remember my schedule and it actually fled out of mind. so bizarre and it didn't just happen to me, there were other two people who thought class was at 3:00.

christmas is here, the air in undoubtedly much colder making showers unbearable. unlike the other christmas i had, i am actually looking forward to the days leading to christmas. of course there will be the bataan sensitivity training, where i will be spending 3 good days and 2 nights with my classmates within the enclave of nature. i hope its beautiful in Bagaac because my soul is yearning for nature, i'm getting weary of the city sights. then christmas, if things go according to plan, we will be celebrating christmas with dozen or so cousins mostly young kids. it will be filled with children's shouting and laughter. we planned to have games and things like that. i really like my young cousins even though they are a lot of trouble simply because they are kids. i've read somewhere that christmas is not actually about gifts (oh what a cliche) but the memories brought about by these gifts, regardless of their monetary amount. when you think about it, these gifts would be destroyed in a couple of years but the memoreis of happy christmas will always be there, i want to be part of their memories of a happy christmas, besides its been quite a while since we last celebrated christmas with other people. i hope it will be a blast.

currently reading: David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. hopefully i finish this one before christmas because this is Dickens' favorite so maybe just maybe after reading it, it will be my favorite too.

last song: I Believe by Fantasia Barrino. this song was performed in Eat Bulaga and from then on it has been ringing in my ears. plus there will be an American Idol special at Star World this coming Tuesday. hopefully i can see this one.

must end here.

Maria Francia Posted At 1:17:00 PM

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definitions

defining growing up is like defining democracy, its very problematic. if taken on an idealistic context then nobody will fit the description so we must take a "minimalistic" or the Schumpeterian meaning, which for democracy is countries which held periodic, relatively honest and universal suffrage, and with growing up the minimalistic definition would be someone who at the end of the year adds another digit to his age, with that definition everybody is included right?

for me, i think growing up is making decisions that you have to stand up and be responsible for. these decisions can be influenced once in a while but the ultimate answers would have to be yours, whatever decision you make consequences would arise and if you don't make these decisions major setbakcs could occur. and growing up entails more and more decision making which has bigger and bigger consequences, sometimes we don't want to deal with these but we have to because the future of mankind is at stake (wow! very melodramatic). anyhow, what i'm driving at is everybody grows up, while growing up we make decisions and these decisions carve our paths.

i must decide now! to drop the mouse and pick my pen and start making seat plans. see what growing up does.

Maria Francia Posted At 11:03:00 AM

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The New and Improved

how do you like my new template? isn't it pretty? well i have to change once in a while, the freen template is getting kinda old. so here, something pink. i hope you like it as much as i like it.

this template has been imported from blogskin.com, thanks to the wonderful people who shares their talent to tech naive like myself. i actually altered and personalized this template for two straight days, this is actually the 2nd template i've tried on because the other is so small i have to change it. this one is much better plus i love the flower background, you know me, im a flower person. =) i intentionally ignored assignments, my newspaper just to finish this thing, its a good thing it went well.

the downside though, i cant get the profile part that i have in my old template and i don't have my archives anymore... so there. the good thing is there are pictures and more eye candy for the senses to enjoy.

keep tag-ing okey. and more thoughts next time

p.s.

i hope evreybody's safe and warm in this crazy weather.

Maria Francia Posted At 1:03:00 PM

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Huwag Kang Matakot

uwag Kang Matakot
[ Eraserheads ]

INTRO

Huwag kang matakot
‘Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako
Sa iyong tabi
‘Di kita pababayaan kailanman
At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin
Ay sasaluhin kita

CHORUS 1
Huwag kang matakot na matulog mag-isa
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot na umibig at lumuha
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot

Huwag kang matakot
Dahil ang buhay mo’y walang katapusan
Makapangyarihan ang pag-ibig
Na hawak mo sa iyong kamay
Ikaw ang Diyos at hari ng iyong mundo
Matakot sila sa ‘yo

[Repeat CHORUS 1 except last line]

CHORUS 2
Huwag kang matakot na magmukhang tanga
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot sa hindi mo pa makita
Kasama mo naman ako
Huwag kang matakot
Aahhhah

[Repeat CHORUS 1]

Huwag kang matakot (huwag kang matakot)
‘Di kita pababayaan kailanman

Maria Francia Posted At 11:01:00 AM

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