let start this entry with a song:
naiinis na ako sa iyo
bakit mo ba ako ginaganito
ikaw ba ay naguguluhan sa 'king
tunay na nararamdaman sa iyo
ano pa bang dapat na gawin pa
sa 'king pananamit at pananalita
upang iyong mapagbigyang pansin aking
paghanga at pagtingin sa iyo
@wag mo na sana akong pahirapan pa
kung ayaw mo sa 'kin ay sabihin mo na
wag mo na sana akong ipaasa sa wala
oo na mahal na kung mahal kita
ano pa bang dapat na gawin ko
upang malaman mo ang nadarama ko
upang iyong mapagbigyang pansin
aking paghanga at pagtingin sa iyo
@oo na mahal na kung mahal kita
--wag mo na sana by parokya ni edgar
there's something funny about this song, it has been ringing in my ears for ages now (of course thats an exaggeration!) what's more funny is that i seem to relate to the lyrics even though i am not in this situation.
i rare glimpse of the tyrant's heart.
i'm rather cynic when it comes to the matters of the heart. you rarely hear me talking about this, or even if i do talk about it i follow it up by a YUCK! i'm really not comfortable discussing these matters for one obvious reason, i have never really experienced LOVE as the way lovers see it. when people talk about the heart, i would say its the hypothalamus, stupid. for me its just a matter of biology but things seem to change with my pereception about LOVE. i feel this profound sadness and a bit of emptiness. i have been yearning for so long now. yearning for someone who will be with me in times of hapiness and loneliness, someone to check up on me all the time, someone whom i can share my days activities, my hopes and madness. i know i'm still young, i will find HIM when the time is right, i just want to know that he's somewhere out there, he exist and he exist only for me. i'm feeling quite envious to those people who have somehow felt the love, the care and concern of another person. i wish someone would feel that way about me. people seem to think that i'm indepedent, i don't need anybody, boy are they wrong! i need someone specially now, that i'm entering a critical stage of my existence. i need somone to reassure me, to tell me that its going to be ok, and would tell me, huwag kang matakot, pagkat andito lang ako.
do you know what triggered this feeling, last night i dreamt that i had my somebody, he cradled me in his arms and they felt so good, so good that i can still feel it hours after i woke up. its such a good feeling that its unfair i haven't experienced it.
so sad.
Whole
name is Ma. Francia Camacho Rosero.
Libran (go figure where her birth date falls) in the year 1985. Sees
herself as a leader,
she never avoid situations
where she can learn and improve. She
has a knack for reading and really likes her skin color
(hence, the inspiration for the picture) because it
makes her truly Filipino. She loves to sing while doing the dishes and dance
while cleaning. She loves to watch movies and laugh with Vic and Jose. She digs
Disney movies and still loves Lindsay Lohan although she metamorphosed to
something undistinguishable. She has great and big dreams
both for herself and family but find those dreams really selfish, since she
hasn't figured out yet what she can for her country. She would love to work for
humanity. But for the mean time she's just working on familiarizing herself with
every word in the dictionary. A destructive perfectionist, she loves to ask how
things work and likes to know why things works this way and not that way. She is
fascinated by the Arab Culture, Mafia and organized crimes and she really likes
History. She loves watching the news and listening to speeches. She likes
watching sports although she doesn't really know how to play them and one habit
she has been trying to overcome is stalking actors and actresses. She is a frustrated athlete.
And she's serious about her spirituality. 
