holidays update

so what have you been up to? where have you been for the past couple of weeks?

i haven't been updating for a while because we have no internet connection. our telephone lines was cut off because of unpaid bills, don't worry it has been taken cared of that's why i can use the internet now. the surge of the bills was partly my fault because of the incessant use of the PLDT Internet service. so part of my new ways for the 2005 is to buy my own inernet card so as not to burden my mom with my addiction with the internet. such desperate measures.

what happened to your sensitivity training?

it was okay, i guess for me that is. it was fun while it lasted. it was also sort of a beginning for me, the healing or the process didn't end when we left Bataan, it was a start of something rather that the end. it had me thinking for quite a while because of the events that transpired. if there is something that i learned from the activity is that its okay to acknowledge certain feelings and emotions. one by one we bared our souls, our fears, inhibitions, talents and through the nakedness we discovered ourselves, our true selves, which might be problematic for some because we cannot reconcile with our true selves which is sad.

so how was it for you? what was your discoveries?

the images was so piognant that it didn't leave me for days. the trees, the mountains, the darkness, the stars were amazing that within the embrace of nature i found myself and my future which seem so clear. within nature's gift i realized that its okay to feel embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed (once in a while), or whatever feelings you have because it enhances your being human. the acknowledgement that certain feelings do exists and one cannot shun them out completeley enriches human existence. through these feelings we are able to find the deeper meaning of life, through these feelings we are able to relate better with ourselves and commune better with our souls...

i am a control freak. everyone who knows me knows that. i relish the respect that i command. i am strong on the outside, i am sturdy and i don't like to be laugh at or be in a middle of an imbroglio but through the sensitivity training i learned to let go of my front and deal with emotions as they come and perceive it as normal as the air and as mystifying also like the air. i fell down, i felt embarrassed, i felt conscious but that's okay because its part of me.
i learned to be thankful, for everything i have and don't have because for everything that i don't have, my haves make up for it, tripled.
that i certianly love nature, and love GOD, who's the beginning and everything of it.

what did you do on christmas?

I FELL IN LOVE. the next thing i love most besides reading is watching t.v. or movies. although i see them late or delayed, i enjoy watching them, especially those movies/shows that has high regards for its audience intelligence and sensibility. throughout the holidays i caught up with movies and t.v. shows that i haven't seen. i saw matrix reloaded. i was weepy with sex and the city the farewell and i saw chicago. let me tell you, the dancing was amazing. i fell in love with musicals, again. catherine zeta-jones and my fave renee zellwegger was astounding. and i saw finding nemo, which was adventurously amazing and its graphics are great (note to myself: must be a movie or tv show critique.<--- this would be my dream job but not my regular job, of course next to being a fire fighter)

we weren't able to do what was planned on christmas day because of different factors... too bad.

are you looking forward to 2005.

honestly? no, i dread going back to school because of the amount of work that needs to be taken cared of. just thinking about them makes me tired that i end up not touching any of it. i just sit there stare at the books that needs to be opened and i dared not to open the PC because the responsibilities would mentally line itself up bugging me relentlessly. you should have seen the conflict when i decided to write my entry for this blog. but what can i do, i need to face it.

what's your new year's wish?

1. world peace? (what a cliche!)
2. just enough strength and patience to deal with it all. (it, meaning?...)
3. better me. (i'm working on that!)

happy new year everyone!

pictures from bataan, soon! (c/o june ador)

Maria Francia Posted At 4:56:00 PM

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